Ruby Red was born out of grief. She’s nine. She’s spunky. She wears her heart on her sleeve. She appeared out of the blue and stole the first line of my next novel. She took off running and I’ve been tagging along ever since.

It’s difficult to make sense of life after both your sister and brother die within a few months of each other like Ruby’s did. Her whole world turned upside down so Ruby turned to blogging to try and put things “right” again.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Entitlement

I was pretty sure that Jessie Mobley ‘n Kerrington woulda beeen hankerin’ to talk to me ‘bout Grandma’s oration on entitlement a couple weeks ago but neither one did ‘till yesterday. Kerrington ‘n me was on the school bus comin’ home when she started talkin’. She said that she got to thinkin’ ‘bout what Grandma said ‘bout entitlement ‘n that it wadn’t fair. I looked at her hard ‘n asked her what wadn’t fair? “Well,” she said, “aren’t you…weren’t you entitled to have your sister ‘n ‘specially your twin brother? I mean you’re tellin’ me ‘bout both of ‘em all the time.”

I didn’t have to think long b’fore I knowed that I had them for nine years ‘n that was better than not havin’ them a tall. But I didn’t know how to say that ‘cause when I do people don’t get it. Sometimes I don’t want people to feel sorry for me ‘n sometimes I get mad if they don’t. What’s worse is the people who act like everthing’s hunky-dory, like I never did have a sister or a brother. Those folks think they don’t wanna remind me ‘bout Loraine ‘n Rubin dyin’ but I think ‘bout ‘em all the time just like Kerrington done said. Then there’s some folks who say stupid stuff like, “Your poor sister. She’s better off in heaven—bein’ so sick down here on earth ‘n all,” or “Rubin was such a good boy that God wanted him to help figure things out in heaven.”


Jessie Mobley says that people just wanna comfort us ‘n make us feel better but they just don’t know what to say. Well, why don’t they just say, “Hey Ruby, hey Jessie, how ya doin’?”


When I close my eyes
I see toy...
When I open my eyes
I miss you.

2 comments:

Judy Baker said...

Hey, Shelia, how ya doin'? I think of you often when I talk to my sister in NC. Her health has gone downhill and I'm reminded of your loss, knowing that day touches us all. Love Judy

Shelia Rudesill said...

Thanks, Judy. Ruby is correct...we'll never get over our grief but we'll get through it.